34E Epiphany

ALLA PRIMA

My job in this—my 49th—year seems to be finding joy by cutting through all my denial. Kind of waking up and seeing the whole panorama of my situation completely clearly. Part of this process is cleaning up and simplifying my material existence, body and house, facing the refuse of my past and present endeavors. This facing up, cleaning out, process will be completed on my 50th birthday, January 26, 2009—when I will leave my old life behind as Sidney and enter into my fresh life as Yudron.

Until then, this blog is dedicated to the day to day unwinding process, putting to rest my old life, denial, and assumptions.

Now, what does 34E have to do with this?

Part of my process this year has been acknowledging the fact that I have back pain most of the time, seeking really top notch experienced healers to help me, and do the work I need to do to see if relief is possible. I feel so happy to have found two wonderful healers: Karen Nugent PT (a Marin County master of unwinding the subtle layers of musculoskeletal pain), and Gloria Hesselund (a wizardly senior teacher of Rosen Work, a guide to self-discovery of mental patterns resulting in physical holding.)  More about them another day.

The other day Karen noted, from just looking at me, that I have muscle spasm near my spine at the bra line—something that I was just about to tell her. I hurt there most of the time, and it seems to correspond to a feeling of an invisible hand right there in the middle of my upper back pushing me forward. Hard to walk that way, stooped forward, yet all the self talk about standing up straight and all my bodywork has not helped. I also feel my shoulders coming up around my ears, although I am not particularly stressed.

Having seen a TV segment on how 90% of women don’t have the right bra size, I’ve been thinking maybe I should look at the obvious. Could it be that my bra is causing all this pain? I opened my undergarment drawer and threw away all the bras I found uncomfortable. Then I took the two least uncomfortable ones out of the trash because I needed something to wear!

Let me back up here by saying that I was a very radical feminist when I was younger. We had many cherished beliefs, some “true” some “false.” One of these beliefs was that bras were objects of oppression of women, and it was a total myth that women’s breasts descend more over time if you wear a bra everyday. Of course, not believing in the effects of gravity doesn’t make its effect less damning, and I capitulated to the need for bras sometime in my 30’s. But, what I never learned, and my female readers may never have learned, is that there is a fine art to fitting a bra—a kind of secret wisdom to it. One really needs to be fit by a knowledgeable professional from time to time in your life—and I’m not talking about a 20 year old at Victoria’s Secret.

So, today I went to the best fitter in the Bay Area (according to Yelp) at a tiny, almost invisible, shop in North Beach. I drove in to the city at 10, and arrived at ALLA PRIMA Fine Lingerie few minutes later, finding a parking place right in front.  Then I went for a nice walk by Washington Square and Coit Tower and back, so I could be there when the shop opened at 11 am.

I went into ALLA PRIMA wearing a 38C bra, and right off Maggie told me that the band was too loose and riding up two inches in the back, meaning my shoulders were doing almost all the work of supporting my “girls.” Instead 90% of the work should be done by the band, and 10% by the straps. Also, she told me my bra cup should be an E, not a C. Did you know that there are E’s and F’s? You’d never know it from shopping at Macy’s, much less Target or Walmart.

Maggie is kind, intelligent, and lovely. She told me she was bringing in a 36 to try on, and warned me it would feel tighter than I was used to. Then, after I had it on and it seemed to fit, she confessed that it was a 34E.

The bra cost $88, but the money is well spent for the education. She also taught me how to wash it so it will last three times longer. I said I would wear it for a while to see if I wanted to buy more. But by the time I was out the door of the shop I could feel my shoulders come down from around my neck and the hand pushing me forward finally release me. That is priceless!

I highly recommend this experience.

ALLA PRIMA
1420 Grant Avenue
San Francisco, CA
415-397-4077
415-864-8081

If driving, go in before they open and find a parking place. Wear your best fitting bra and bring 12 quarters, just in case. There is two hour parking, a quarter every 10 minutes. The visit length should be quite short if you are the first one through the door.

Incidental Findings:



Women singing in Chinese in Washington Square Park

People out Sailing in the Bay