Saturday, January 26, 2008

Water

L and I went up to to top of the Oakland Hills today, near the origin of the Sausal Creek watershed.  Can you see my house down there below?

It's my birthday, I've decided to start thinking of it as "one year closer to complete realization" rather than "one year closer to the grave."

Anyway, looking at the San Francisco Bay reminds my of another Bay long ago.  Little known (and perhaps totally uninteresting) fact:  I spent every weekend of my childhood summers on Saint Leonard's Creek, a small estuary off the Patuxant River, itself a tributary of the Chesapeake Bay.  We're talking Maryland in the 60's, here:  humid, hot, wild, and just beginning to consider an end to segregation.  My father, George, is a boat enthusiast.  We had a series of motorboats, that were moored at a southern Yacht club known as White Sands.  White Sands was a polynesian style development, two docks, vacation homes, jungly woodland trails, an abandoned mansion (with bats!), and horse stables.  I wandered, by sea and by land, with unsupervised preadolescent redneck children--the offspring of red faced men who had gained wealth through running car lots.  

The white men spent a lot of time sweating, shirtless in the bilge of their big boats, or perhaps convening together on the back of the boat, being served fried chicken and drinks by their wives.  This was not an avocation for sissies.

As children we swam in the warm brown semi-translucent water with the crabs, sea turtles, perch, and jelly fish.  The boys would do cannonballs off the tall houseboats, the girls would merely jump.  Then afterwards we would nurse our jellyfish stings with Adolf's Meat Tenderizer--MSG in a bottle--which somehow killed the pain.  And there were snakes, poisonous; copperheads on land, and cottonmouths in the water.  

It seems like I read this all, and much much more, in a novel now.  



Friday, January 25, 2008

Cage Rattling

Remember that Zhitro accumulation I mentioned post before last?  Well, Rinpoche has really rattled everyone’s cage by sending word to us that we should continue a twenty-four hour mantra accumulation  “until samsara is emptied.”  But, no, not just that, he set up two other simultaneous continuous accumulations—a special Vajrasattva mantra, and a prayer he wrote for these difficult times.  Starting immediately, and continuing forever.

Personally, I had just sunk my talons into a new sadhana, tucked in my napkin and was starting to gobble when this happened.  What do I do now?  Drop it and take up that Zhitro accumulation, which I had already decided to do sometime in my 70’s, if I live that long?  I love the Zhitro practice, and the accumulation is huge and the mantra long.  Right now it takes me an hour to say 800, without the sadhana.  If I recall correctly, think the expected accumulation for one person was 2,400,000.  If one adds the sadhana, that would be about an hour and a half a day for three years.  Or 45 minutes a day for six years—actually sounds more doable.  Then, if I spend half the year doing other practices, that would be twelve years. Of course, it gets faster as you do it.  On the other hand, now we are supposed to just keep going, so perhaps the numbers are moot.

The Zhitro is a practice related to the hundred peaceful and wrathful deities of the Bardo.  It is really supposed to help bardo beings.  I am especially drawn to helping bardo beings.  My goal is to become a special Buddha who can swoop down and grab beings who have died and are heading to hell, and put them in my new Buddhafield, The Pureland of Remorseful Reprobates.

My friend Dennis emailed me very early this morning, “I had a dream where we formed a company and we were selling aspirin that was useful in the bardo. Our slogan was ‘don't get a headache over your bad karma.’”


Thursday, January 24, 2008

Mantrika Blues







Crossing the bay 
in cold rain
a map is drawn in mind
from vastness bliss
through thought
around the corner of feeling
into the little box of sadness

Monday, January 21, 2008

Mantra Moonbeams

This afternoon I was up in Marin County.  In the late afternoon I drove around and looked for a place for Osel Thegchog Ling that I saw in a dream.  Nothing matched the literal minded picture in the dream.  I pulled in in front of a place that was very similar--near Mill Valley.  Just then my cell phone rung and it was my friend C--another counsel-member for our group.  One of Rinpoche's people called on his behalf from Italy.  He wanted us to start taking shifts accumulating Zhitro mantra immediately.  It was now my turn.  So, I sat near the place I had been thinking of, and recited mantra for the better part of the hour, then continued as I drove home.  Over Berkeley, I saw this beautiful moon.

Everything is in my mandala right now, the whole world is humming.  Everyone and everything is an apparition--e-mail, phone calls, car rides... hum hum hum.

I love all you yogis and yoginis.  I really do.

Guru Rinpoche's Mountain Home

I went back down to Pema Osel Ling, because Lama Tharchin Rinpoche was teaching the Foundational Practices of Tibetan Buddhism. I was just going to stay a couple of days, but I got enthralled and stayed for five days. I've never heard Rinpoche teach this set of practices, known as the ngondro in Tibetan, in depth before. Now I understand that this is his forum for sutrayana teachings. He taught twice a day for ten days--that's four hours of teachings--just touching on some of the points in a detailed text by HH Dudjom Rinpoche. It seems strange that this has never been translated, because it could be really helpful. Perhaps it is in process. Have you been to Pema Osel Ling? It is up a narrow winding road in the redwood covered Santa Cruz Mountains. The goal here is quality, not to be a tourist destination. It is one of the few places in the U.S. that offers the whole path of practice of the Nyingma lineage, with all the supports one needs to really go into depth with it.

The stupas at Stupa Peace Park are coming along nicely. There are still chances to make a connection by offering some money towards their completion. All eight kinds of classical stupas are here (you can't see the bell-shaped on in back), plus a little averting stupa in front. Eventually there will be a mandala shaped wall surrounding them, with 108 (if I recall correctly) little stupas on the top of the wall, then landscaping. We started right after 9/11 on the recommendation of namkhai Drimed Rinpoche, who felt this would help avert future distasters, and completed the main stupa in a year. It is a really good sangha building exercise to make tsa tsas and roll mantras together--these are labor intensive works that go inside the stupas, along with hundreds of other things, such as texts, statues, Buddha relics, and so on.

Our representation of Guru Rinpoche (Padmasambhava), the first to firmly establish Buddhism in Tibet, it this impressive statue. It is the focal point of our large shrine room at Pema Osel Ling. Rinpoche always takes some time to look at the statue when he comes in the shrine room, the prostrates three times before taking his teaching seat.

I hope your practice goes well this week. I'm going to focus on having a little bit of discipline this week.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Puja A-Go-Go


Once you've done tsok every night in retreat, you really don't want to stop when you get out... you want some little puja to remind you of your inherent divinity.  That's where Ikea comes in.
 
Lost yet?

Puja is a kind of ceremony invoking immaterial wisdom deity, sometimes accompanied by a feast.  As Vajrayana practitioners we do tsok on the 10th and 25th day of the lunar month.  In my tradition, this can be elaborate or unelaborate.

Ikea is an overwhelming maze-like variation on the big box store.  They sell various items for tsok, some of the best tea lights around, trays for making tormas (sculptural dough offerings), and most recently I became enamored with their plastic trays with legs, that one can use to give folks something to set their text on, or to make a little impromtu shrine island when everything else is in chaos.  

Lately I have been feeling enthralled with Yeshe Tsogyal. The pre-eminent dakini--who brought me to the Dharma by sharing her life story with me, so many years ago.  I want to practice as she did, perfecting every aspect of the path.  Please Mother Tsogyal, teach me everything and enhance my capacity, devotion and bodhicitta!


My Favorite City


A San Francisco Child Development Center, Cook Street

At one time I worked for a couple of years doing hands-on nursing care for special needs kids in the San Francisco public schools.  One of the best parts of the job was that at times--especially summers--I would be assigned to go from one school to another during the day. Being out and about one weekdays all over that city, when most other people were trapped inside building was a kind of sensual experience.  San Francisco it famous for its vistas, but it also smells good, and its builders (and post-fire rebuilders) appreciated texture, pattern and color.

Above is a public building for little kids--probably the kind of center that would be in a temporary building in another town.  But, by god, the above is only part of it's magnificent facade.

I took these today after a Feldenkrais lesson at a friend's house. 

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

My Friends from Argentina


One other thing that I also noticed on arriving in California was the ants.  They were nothing like the ants I was used to.  No, these little ants are mighty!  Now I know they are Argentine Ants; indomitable.

So, what doeth the mild buddha-people, who hath vowed not to kill any sentient being?  This is an evolving science.  The goals are to cut off their point of ingress, remove the food or water they want, then move the remaining ants outside before they starve or die of thirst.  

What I do with a major incursion is to clean the area as best I can, which is usually centered around a kitchen or bathrooms sink, then draw a line around the area to protect it.  As paint, one uses cinnamon oil--a little cinnamon in some oil.  Then take a little brush--like the kind you have around to make tormas-- and paint a continuous circle around the sink or whatever.As you can see in the above photo, they are completely stymied by this line.  And also, find the opening they came into the room from, blow on it so that they move for a moment, then paint the opening so they clear out of this area.  Then, I move the ants.  Smaller quantities of ants can be moved by scooting them onto a piece of paper, or gently dragging a tissue over them (they grab on), or sucking them up with an official bug mover or--as a last resort--a little hand vac.  After the general situation is controlled like that, it is time to seal up the point of ingress with sealant.

What I am calling "the official bug mover" is a vacuum device carried by Tibetan Treasures (inquire) that harmlessly sucks them up so they can be taken outside.  The hand vacs kill a few, most will live and be fine.

I Like Lichen


Today in Redwood Park

I had a nice relaxing day today, practicing, moving ants out of the bathroom, and corresponding with the new friends I have made on this blog.  In the afternoon I slipped out and went for a walk in Redwood Park, in the hills above Oakland.  The spotlight was on moss and lichen that beamed forth green light from trunks, branches and stones.

My ex, D, emailed me on New Years, reminding me that it has been 13 years since we pulled our Uhaul and my Ford Festiva off at the High Street exit, then sideswiped a parked car on our way up the hill to our new rented home.  Although it didn't turn out as we'd planned, I am so happy we landed here.  And I'm so glad you are still my friend.

The first year here, a few things I remember: a) being broke b) volunteering binding books at the Nyingma Institute's TAP bookmaking project (the Kangyur or the Tengyur at that time) c) answering phones at the Berkeley Shambhala Center, d) how beautiful everything looked/smelled/felt, and e) these fabulous East Bay Parks that we discovered soon after we arrived.


Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Buddhist Chaplaincy




The above photos were taken and posted recently by Joan Halifax Roshi of Upaya Institute in Santa Fe.  The top photo is the gate of Upaya, the bottem photo is a backyard a few blocks from there.  How do I know?  Because I posted a picture of the same windmill here, that I took on December 24.  What are the chances of that?

I am part of the first class in their Buddhist Chaplaincy training program that starts this year.  It will be team taught by the leading lights of the engaged Buddhism movement, Glassman, Maull, Halifax herself, etc.  I, on the other hand, am a dim bulb of the disengaged Buddhism movement.  However, I am also an old nurse, and old nurses are like old firehouse dogs--we always return to help people directly who are at critical junctures in their lives.  Since is the only ingrained habit I have that is positive, I guess I will figure out how to channel it.

Favorite Blogs

These Girls of Golok are some of the great people you can meet in the Blogosphere

I got turned on to blogs at first by reading travel blogs to Eastern Tibet; Kham, Golok and Amdo. Actually, my favorite ones are by the westerners who live there.  then you get a realistic idea of the experience in these areas that spawned most of the 19th and 20th century meditation adepts who grace our lineage trees.  A mostly pastoral area of nomads and monasteries, it is an area of intense contradictions.  Impoverished materially, abundant spiritually; it is an area of little literacy, and yet also the matrix of the brilliant scholars of the 19th century nonsectarian movement, and the 18th century self-educated genius and meditation master Jigme Lingpa. Great female yoginis, such as Sera Khandro and Ayu Khandro (in the 20th century) emerged there in what remains a strongly patriarchal setting even today.

I like to read about Rekong--where Lama Tharchin Rinpoche's father came from.  I've never heard Rinpoche express an interest in the place, but I have always been fascinated by this area, traditionally inhabited by families of Yogis, who integrate practice and retreat with worldly life, like we do.   This school teacher doesn't know anything about that, but I find Toffa a good read.
When she is on the road, Wangmo keeps one heck of a great blog.  I'll tell you right from the get go that her lama--Jean Kirkpatrick's son Stuart--is a controversial figure, and the office of His Holiness the Dalai Lama warns people away from his group.  But he doesn't figure much in her sincere accounts of life in Golok.  Particularly, a man she knows has started a program for young girls--who are just abandoned by the side of the road with some regularity. 
  
If you want to go to Kham check this out, and for permit info check this out.

Now the best overall blog I know, actually comes out of Mongolia most of the time.  It is by my favorite Western monk--who I have never me--Konchok Norbu. He actually inspired me to start my blog, and I'll tell you how.  He proved that being unrelentingly positive and uplifting, and motivated solely by the impulse to help others, can be really interesting.  He can even make birdwatching interesting!  So, hence cometh this blog, which I will try to keep free of my mounting anxiety over chemtrails and the island of discarded plastic the size of Texas in the Pacific ocean. 

In India we find Joy documenting the lives of herself, Lama Lena, and Nyondo, an intrepid lesbian trio who serve Lama Wangdor and the people in his community near Tso Pema.  I will warn you ahead of time, you will end up making a donation by paypal to help them out, once you read it there is no choice, Paypal calls.  Here is Nyondo's blog--she is a computer industry person.  These three are from the Bay Area originally.  Unfortunately my only real personal contact with them caused Lena to have an allergic reaction.  Lama Wangdor Rinpoche gave an empowerment at my old shrine room, and Lena was allergic to my rug.

I removed my final blog recommendation on 1/10. 

Lama Tharchin Rinpoche's Magic


I don't know how many of you know my main root lama, Lama Tharchin Rinpoche.  He was ill for many years, and not really teaching much publicly.  Above is a 2006 photo I found online.
The aspect of Rinpoche's life story that has been on my mind lately is from his youth.  He had completed many years of retreat under Kyabje Dudjom Rinpoche in Tibet, culminating with him serving as a teaching assistant in the final group three year retreat.  He realized when he was about to come home that, as the son  of a respected lama, and someone who had completed extensive retreat, he would be treated with great esteem by people in his home area.  He knew he had not yet defeated his ego clinging, so after reuniting with his beloved mother, he told her he needed to go wander and practice in areas where he would be a complete nobody.  She said she understood, and told his father.  His father said "Good boy." His father --a fierce mahasiddha who was the ancestral spiritual leader of a community of non-monastic yogis (ngakpas) in Rekong (now Tongren, Qinghai)--had left his home for similar reasons.

Anyway, soon afterwards word came that things had gotten too bad politically to remain in Tibet to stay.  He escaped over the mountains to India.  He always jokes that the Chinese set up exactly the kind of situation he had been seeking.  He became one among many refugees, eventually settling in Orissa in Dudjom Rinpoche's refugee camp there.  There he became successful--as a very effective beggar.

Rinpoche remains the most stubbornly humble high lama I have ever encountered.  Without his guidance, I am sure that myself and countless others among his students would be real egomaniacs by now.  It is apparently easy to fall into this trap as practitioners of teachings that are said to be exalted.  Then one can undermine the whole process by wantonly engaging in the most seductive afflicted emotion there is--pride.  So hard to see in oneself, so poisonous

So the best news is that Rinpoche is healthy now, and teaching a lot this year.  Please see his teaching schedule at the Vajrayana Foundation website and the Jnanasukha website.  He has said quite often that he doesn't need new students, doesn't have any personal need to give empowerments and so forth.  All the more reason to become his student and receive as many teachings and transmissions as you can from him.

The pool of great lamas training in old Tibet is shrinking annually.  If you are alive today you are among the last people alive who will have access to such masters.  Please don't squander it by thinking they will always be there and you will meet them after you make some money and retire.  I regret so much how I squandered my first 30 years on silly dualistic political obsessions, and could have easily met Dudjom Rinpoche, Dilgo Khyentse, 16th Karmapa, and Trungpa Rinpoche instead.  

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

At Pema Osel Ling

Happy new year everyone.

I'm blogging from the bench next to the pond at Pema Osel Ling (Lotus land of Clear Light), it is very cold and dark.  I couldn't find my camera at home on the way out the door.  I can see now that the mandala does not want me to do a blow-by-blow blog of this retreat.  For non-Buddhists:  that's kind of like saying the "universe" doesn't want me to.  If nothing else a big storm is coming in tomorrow night that will make my outdoor internet perch untenable.

I'll catch up with ya'll next week.  It's really wonderful that folks are reading it.  I'm having lots of fun with it.