Splitting

Every thing is split in two
there is no deceiving it
Every thing is lost to us
that falls beyond this precipice

Live Alone and Stay Free

Whoever you see isn't human, but a fraud;

Whatever people say isn't right, but just lies.

So, since these days there's no one you can trust,

you'd better live alone and stay free.

If your actions conform with the Dharma, you'll antagonize everyone;

If you're words are truthful, most people will get angry;

If your mind is truly good and pure, they will judge it as a defect;

Now is time to keep your own way hidden.

Patrul Rinpoche

Heart Treasure of the Enlightened Ones

Verses 15, 16

Blessings

I remember hearing from classmates in high school that the first couple of times smoking marijuana one did not get high, then suddenly the third time or so, the drug would take effect. It seems that way with Vajrayana empowerments for me. The blessings of these Dudjom Lingpa wangs get more and more powerful with each passing day, seemingly a cumulative effect. I never understood why people wanted to receive these big cycles of empowerments, until I revieve the Dudjom (Jigdrel Yeshe Dorje) Wangs last year, and now this group.

I won't describe the sensation, for fear of disapating it, but it is palpable.

Today, after the wangs, I went out to lunch with a friend, then up to the Oakland Hills to walk as the sun went down. When I got up to the top of the MacDonald trail hill I found several wildflowers in full bloom, including groupings of the pink flowers above, with the fern-like foliage. They looked a bit like me--I had actually worn pink lip gloss today for the first time in my life. So, pink was the theme, I guess. Spring, flowering, fresh, clean, pristine.

On the way down the hill, this beautiful golden light.

Another Day of Empowerments

The Dudjom Lingps Wangs continue at Orgyen Dorje Den.  So far, the lamas start on time at 1pm and end promptly at 3pm.  Very full with blessings.

Singing Nerves

Mixing wangs with practice, circum-ambulation, and yoga, my nerves are like little juicy fishes. Little fishes who exclaim "madness is as madness does." Frank little fishes, contorting themselves and unfurling with regularity. They toil and list from side to side. Screaming one minute "Olay!," whispering the next "olay," they are uncharacteristically feminine. Vibrating strongly in the pocket of their own doom, and protecting themselves, like a big furnace with a turban on it's head. How can we express this in English?

A little boy wanders in a deserted kingdom. Its alabaster brightness shines evenly. His kindred are folks of the upper region. His lonely legs see things as though they were hollow tubes. The brass envelope has a stretch mark on it, like it was polished up to a certain point and then forgot what it was doing. It is courteous to me , and yet has an endearing quality--like plums careening through space. Where is the fortress that hums it's own tune? It is in the majestic regency of space. A thumbtack extends into the brightness of the sky, beaconing the outer reaches of existence to inculcate themselves into the heart of living things, the heart of absolute madness, the prank they call "earth" and "fire" and so on.

This is the solution the atomic question. Life and the aftermath of death drone on. There is no ending here, just more and more solutions insinuating themselves forward.

Rain of Flowers

Flower petals continue to rain in anticipation of Tulku Theglo Rinpoche's conferral of the Dudjom Lingpa empowerments at Orgyen Dorje Den in Alameda starting Sunday. I learned this evening that, in additions to his other connections to Dudjom Lingpa, he is his great grandson. Anyway, I am getting my life in order and cleaning up, and am expecting a house guest to stay here and attend the wangs. I'm also planning to pop down to Pema Osel Ling Saturday for Lama Tharchin Rinpoche's "Heart Teachings."

But first, I have to clean the bathtub.

Moving Towards "Ling"

Today in Mill Valley, California

Today was the first time in our six years of existence that Osel Thegchog Ling has held routine practice/discussion/instruction gathering in a public space.  Until now, we have always met in folks homes.   A  Mill Valley Buddhist center has been kind enough to offer us space for this.  Eventually we will have our own "ling," meaning place or land.  Nina (left) and Christine (right) and I have been working together to assist Rinpoche in shepherding group practices for a bunch of years.  We each have different approaches to the task, that complement each other.

Even now that I have delegated most of my former tasks of the group to others and mostly focus on big picture thing, it still touches my life in some way every day when I am not in retreat.  It's a responsibility, and one that I care about--when I care too much I get into trouble with it, so these days I take a light touch with it as much as I can. Eventually, it will be a great center for Dzogchen teachings, and probably nothing like any of us (but Rinpoche) imagine.

Oakland Dharma Bum Routine

Friday walk with Ellen in the Oakland Hills

Tonight at the Lake (and some iphoto fiddling)

I've developed a daily rhythm of breakfast ngondro and housekeeping until noon, then lunch and whatever project I have, then my time on the Shitro mantra garland from three to four. Next I walk, hike or climb for an hour(with or without company), then snack. Sometimes socialize, sometimes projects in the evening, then a tiny bit of practice again, then sleep. That's quite a life! Soon I will start getting up earlier so I am a bit more productive.

So, you can see why I haven't been posting. Not much excitement until the Dudjom Lingpa Empowerments March 16 - 27 at Orgyen Dorje Den. No, it's not on their website, but you can sign up for their email list there, and they send out frequent updates. Scott from ODD allowed me to develop some materials for him about Dudjom Lingpa, the great terton of the 19th century--so that he could condense it for a paragraph description on their forthcoming publicity.

Physical Support for the Dharma

Oakland Stairmaster

The sad fact that meditation practice has to be balanced with exercise. Prostrations are the general exercise prescription of our lineage, but a lot of middle aged sedentary people who start doing prostrations can lack the core muscle strength to protect the spine from the impact of prostrations (especially done on a prostration board) and can injure their backs that way. Then we stop doing prostrations and do nothing but sit sit sit. The abdominal muscles that support the spine become deconditioned, and one develops back, leg, and even abdominal pain. Pretty soon we have to lie down to practice.

So, in my own case I have started to reverse the process. Starting with one hour of walking a day for general conditioning, along with specific core muscle strengthening exercises, and stretches. I can't tell you how much better I feel. I can sit on a cushion straight up for two hours, what a relief.

Today I progressed to stairs, using the above stairs (that go way beyond what you can see in the above photo). Up and down and up and down.

Vajravarahi-Throma

My new statue, from dharmatreasures.com.

Pema Osel Ling today

Today was absolutely gorgeous. It was Dakini day, our bi weekly day of connection with the awakened activity--the sacred feminine. Everything coalesced around Throma, the most wrathful dakini. I decided to go to Throma tsok at Pema Osel Ling a few days ago. Then, Stacey at Dharma Treasures store at POL called to say that a shipment of statues ordered long ago had arrived, and would I like to buy a statue of Throma? I jumped at the chance, and arranged to pick it up today. Then I set up a massage appointment with Marcie, who lives near Pema Osel Ling for the same day. As I started t write this, I remembered that Marcie is a celebrated Throma practitioner. As I picked up the statue, someone in the bookstore commented to a friend that I look like the Throma statue I just bought. I said, "yes, we do look alike," but really this statue is much more sexy than I am.