Monday, August 27, 2012

Surgery in a Buddhist Context


I woke up from surgery surrounded by love.  It was August 15, 2012 and my Tibetan lama -- an elder in his late 70’s -- had gone way out his way to be there throughout my surgery and when I awoke.  Other friends surrounded my bed, some like hallucinations, because I had no idea they would be present that day.

What a different experience it would have been if I were a private person in a long-term relationship with one person, quietly coming to in my hospital bed!  No hurried last minute “likes” on Facebook to the many supportive messages the night before surgery.  No Tibetan holy men rolling their malas (rosaries) with mantras and prayers on my behalf. 

At this specific juncture of my life, I’m accustomed to being married to a community.  For the past three and a half years, ending about June, I was in a cloistered group meditation retreat with a group of people.  We came to know all each other’s strengths and weaknesses, our sensitive areas and hidden heroic qualities.

So, it was not so strange to be waking, drowsy from Morphine, in a group… my snoring (and who knows what all) exposed to the community that held and supported me.

Since then, three people from my retreat have lived with me (at various times) in my half-unpacked house while I recuperate.  They move this heavy MacBook Pro from my bed to the couch and back again at my whim.  They feed the feral cat, wash y dishes, and take out the trash.  Yesterday, two of A.dz.om Rinpoche’s students came by in the morning and walked with me a few blocks, and listened to me rattle on.  Then, later, two of Lama Tharchin Rinpoche’s students came by and did tsog – in important group practice for us – while I mumbled along the best I could in between some pangs of pain.

Normally, I like a lot of alone time to practice.  But in this time of recovery I don’t have the attention span for formal practice, and I appreciate the opposite—distraction.  In the middle of the night, my “attendant” friend asleep, it’s just me and my snarling abdomen in boring dialogue.